Timewise I’ve really only just begun this painful journey of deep grief, but I’ve already learned a number of significant lessons.  I’m sharing some here both for future reference for myself, and in hopes that they might be helpful to others walking alongside grieving friends.

I dislike the ever popular lists of “15 things you should never say to___________” or “10 things you should always do for_________”.   Those lists consistently strike me as being rooted in egocentrism and entitlement, and lacking grace.  We who are grieving do not get a free pass to be egocentric, entitled or lacking in grace.  We continue to answer to the command to be governed by love and grace, bearing with one another patiently and overlooking offenses.

My intention is not to present a legalistic list of do’s and don’ts regarding grieving people. I am simply sharing some of what I and other grieving…