J.R. Miller Sorrow makes deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on the heart which suffers. We really never get over our great griefs; we are never altogether the same after we have passed through them as we were before.

No surrender

An excerpt from Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief ... So, I must wait, but waiting does not have to mean stagnating. The Lord still has business to conduct in His universe. There are people yet to be born and souls yet to be saved. The time I have left is shorter than it feels; …

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In My Father’s House

Hans spent most of his life right here at home in the house he grew up in. Of course, he went places and did things; he spent his first birthday in California while we were there visiting family. But, other than that, he never left Alaska. He never “got his own place”; never had to …

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Come, Thou Fount of ev’ry blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy grace; streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.

Streams of Mercy, Never Ceasing

We sang ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ at Hans’s memorial service. Surprisingly, I was able to sing, too, though my heart was splintering into little pieces. It was important to me that I sing that day. I wanted to do it for the Lord. I wanted to do it for Hans. The title of …

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According to His Will - Psalm 28:6-7 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I

According to His Will

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. 1 John 5:14-15 Every prayer I have ever uttered …

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Isaiah 26:3 thou-wilt-keep-him-in-perfect-peace-whose-mind-is-stayed-on-thee-because-he-trusteth-in-thee.

Is My Child in Heaven?

When just a small boy, God saved Hans from the penalty and power of sin, assuring him a place in Heaven based on faith in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. So, when we say we will see Hans again, our level of assurance is quite high. But what about the parent who does not have …

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fireworks Just For Me

Just For Me

Bouncing around at the base of the hill, across the river that lay frozen between the fireworks techs and us spectators on the dock, was a light. A flashlight. A very bright flashlight. I saw the stream of light widen and play upon the hillside. Then the beam narrowed into a tightly focused square-shaped beam. …

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John 11:25-26 The Resurrection and the Life

The Resurrection and the Life

So, how can I be so confident that I will see my son again? Is it because he was “a good boy,” was “never in any trouble,” “was no worse than anyone else?” Is it because his family goes to church every Sunday and Hans never missed a meeting unless he was sick? Is it …

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The Rose Bush love-which-has-not-suffered-cannot-fully-understand-another-hearts-pain. J. R. Miller

The Rose Bush

The roots of the stump passed right through where the rose bush grew. Collateral damage. I knew it would be useless to argue. He dug up the lush and beautiful rose bush and we stuck it in a barrel of water. Finally, all the roots of the stump were out, leaving a crater about five …

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The Sound of the Wind

The Sound of the Wind

Why does the sound of the wind break my heart?It carries away the long-ago laughterOf yesterday’s childrenAnd flings it beyond my reachThe wind runs without a careAlong trails blazed by my mighty hunterBrushing over the fields of your boyhoodAs if your absence does not matterYesterday’s gentle breeze returns empty-handedFierce and without mercyIts icy sting freezes …

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The Nearness of God

Grieving is difficult, exhausting work that can become counterproductive if indulged in overmuch. There comes a time when sorrow and anguish are not enough anymore. Not that it wears off, or grieving gets easier. It is just that I have come to an awareness that sorrow is not getting me anywhere. I see that my …

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Why Trust God? Why Follow Him?

Our God would not allow this terrible pain unless he had a very, very good reason. I trust Him for that. There is nothing else. I trust Him because He is good and because He does what He says He will do. He is real, and He sees our pain. We follow Him, not because …

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Never Ceasing book cover


Here is another short excerpt from my book Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief Forward. That is the direction I need to be moving. Forward is where our son is. Forward is where I will see my Savior, face to face. Moving forward is not the same as moving on. Moving on is putting the …

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The First Week

Here is another short excerpt from my book Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief It is the most trying week of my life—physically exhausting, emotionally grueling. I am thankful for everyone who comes to pay their respects and make sure we eat well. I am thankful for every single gift that is sent to us …

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