"I do not know what the Lord has planned for us. I rest in the fact that He is God and He knows what He is doing. I began this journey without knowing all the twists and turns it may involve. But my Captain knows all. I do not need to fret or peer over … Continue reading Re-Post: Empty Stalls, Empty Beds
"Last year’s Christmas tree day - which was a few weeks before Hans left us for Heaven - as I prayed for my family, I had an awareness that the coming year could possibly hold a special challenge for us. I felt a little apprehensive, but … well, you know how mothers are, we always … Continue reading Re-post: Christmas Prayer
"We took the Christmas tree down the day after the crash, January 12, 2016 – Hans’ birthday. His twenty first birthday, which he celebrated in Heaven." Click here to read the entire post.
One of the things many bereaved parents would like you to know is this: Even though they may seem pretty together and functional; even though they smile, though perhaps not very brightly and not for very long; and even though it seems like they are moving on with life, there are many, many things going … Continue reading Re-post: Things Are Not What They Seem
Today, right this minute, the actual living Hans is not back there in the past. He is not here with me in my present except in my memories. Hans is in my future. Click here to read the whole thing.
The Sears store in Fairbanks, Alaska holds many memories for us. But it's different - now. Read the rest here. photo source: Sears, Roebuck & Co. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
"Fear. It is a feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. An intense uneasiness. An acute sense of dread..." Click here to read the rest... Image source.
Why does the sound of the wind break my heart? It carries away the long ago laughter Of yesterday's children And flings it beyond my reach It runs without a care Along trails blazed by my mighty hunter Brushing over the fields of your boyhood As if your absence doesn't matter Yesterday's gentle breeze returns … Continue reading The Wind Bloweth
Click here to read the entire post. "It’s not just Hans I miss. It is all of them together as happy children on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes I so want to turn back the clock to one of those precious days. Or to turn it forward to when we will all be together again. But … Continue reading Revised Post: Four
Most of the animals we keep were acquired when our children were young. Our oldest animal, a goat (The Old Lady), died at the ripe old age of eleven just a few months after Hans left us. She was one of our original breeding stock and was a sensible and reliable animal. But one day … Continue reading Empty Stalls, Empty Beds
One of the things bereaved parents would like you to know is this: Even though they may seem pretty together and functional; even though they smile, though perhaps not very brightly and not for very long; and even though it seems like they are moving on with life, there are many, many things going on … Continue reading Things Are Not What They Seem
It would easy to spend all my time preoccupied with the past. The way it was. Looking at – no examining - old photographs. Studying, not just the image of our son, but the background, too. Everyday scenery that has not changed but is so totally different now. Trying to find the what-ifs casually arranged … Continue reading Looking Forward
Walking through Sears department store the other day, I passed by the boys' and then the men's department while calmly experiencing all the expected memories: the packages of socks, the work pants, the plaid shirts, the dress shirts. My mind drifted back to the time, years ago, when Hans and his dad spent several hours … Continue reading Blind-sided at Sears
Can it be a whole year since we saw our boy's face? If you have a special memory of Hans (no matter how long ago), a funny story, or a photo you would like to share, please leave it in the comments section below, or visit Hans' memorial website here. Every memory posted is a … Continue reading One Year