The Sanitizing of Grief

Misunderstandings and misinformation regarding grief and the so-called “stages of grief” are a major contributor to the isolation and loneliness that often accompany bereavement. Thank you, Karen Harmening, for clearing things up in this gracious, well-written and informative post.

Listening to Him

“He will swallow up death for all time, And the Lord GOD will wipe tears away from all faces, And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.  And it will be said in that day, “Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. This is the LORD for whom we have waited; Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.”  Isaiah 25:8-9 [NASB]

I’m not working through the stages of grief.  To be frank, I have grown to resent the phrase “the stages of grief” rather deeply.  Let me say it again, I am not working through the stages of grief.   I am missing my child.  I am learning to live life moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, week by week and now month by month in the…

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Fear

Yes. Just exactly this. Thank you, Kathleen.

kathleenbduncan

A few years ago, I almost lost my husband to a serious staph infection.  We went through four years of more surgeries and Ron using crutches and a cane to walk before he was able to walk or jog normally again.

My oldest son spent two tours in Afghanistan with the US Marine Corps.  One of those was the well-known “Dark Horse Unit” often mentioned on Facebook because of the high number of casualties they had in such a short time.

We almost lost one of our children to an illness in the last year.

I was fearful for weeks at a time that I would actually lose one of children or my husband. It did not show to the world, but I was afraid.

Over the past year, I finally came to believe that God is in control;  that all the days of our lives are written in His book…

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It’s About the Destination, Not the Journey

This is what gets me up in the morning. Great post, Brandon.

Brandon J. Adams

journeyIt’s one of those little fluffy kerfluffles of human philosophy, one that at least has the honesty to face the reality of we’re not home yet and try to make peace with it.

“Maybe it’s about the journey, not the destination”.

I say bogus.

I say the Christian life is about the destination.

(WARNING: Scripture ahead. I know some of you experience an instinct to kinda “check out” and skip Scripture because it’s too dense, too preposition-heavy, too hard to understand, it’s something you just plain don’t like, etc. DON’T. If you’ve honored me by clicking on this post, I urge you to fight that instinct. Read through the Scriptures. There are treasures waiting.)

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What is the Harvest of Tears?

A must-read by Janet Boxx: https://boxxbanter.com/2017/10/09/what-is-the-harvest-of-tears/
There is so much I would like to say, Janet. I wish we could spend a few hours face to face. Maybe I can say just a few things that leap at me from what you have written here today in this beautiful and thought-provoking post.
First, you are the first person I have run into that gets Psalm 127:3. I could never figure out why one abusive mother may get to have six or eight children and a loving God-fearing mother maybe cannot have any. Children are gifts and treasures but they are not trophies for being a good girl. They are HIS reward and belong to HIM.
Second, for me, clinging to/trusting the promises and trusting the Promiser are inseparable. They are one and the same. The Promiser always keeps His promise. The Promiser IS the promise. But wait. He has promised some things I am not sure I want any part of: “In the world you shall have tribulation.” “we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God” “That no man should be moved by these afflictions: for yourselves know that we are appointed thereunto.” So if I trust the promises that make me feel better, I must also accept/be resigned to, or, rather, REJOICE in ALL the promises, knowing, as you said, that our Lord always has our eternal good in view. Always.
Which brings me to my last point. Knowing God is sovereign is one thing. Liking it is another. Knowing God has the power to restrain Satan, and then submitting when He chooses not to restrain him, is another. Understanding God is sovereign, that He, as the King, has the authority and the right to do what He wants in His universe is one thing. But surrendering to this authority, bowing humbly to His will, (even when it gets ugly) while we trust in His wisdom and love, well…that’s Holy Spirit work. I do not think this trusting and surrendering business is something we can choose to do. I believe it is a grace we must pray for. I think this is the key to peace. As long as we kick against what God has allowed or directly caused, or against what He may direct or allow in the future, I do not think peace is possible.
“Unresisting submission” unloads and lightens the heart burdened with with anger, fear, mistrust, resentment, bitterness, self-pity, etc. How blessed it would be to be free of it all!

Boxx Banter

Photo credit belongs to FreeBibleImages.org
My friend Melanie recently published a blogpost based upon Psalm 126:5-6, which reads,

5 Those who walk the fields to sow, casting their seed in tears,
will one day tread those same long rows, amazed by what’s appeared.

6 Those who weep as they walk and plant with sighs Will return singing with joy, when they bring home the harvest.

Psalm 126:5-6

In brief, it’s an important discussion about choosing to cling to God in obedient faith instead of the temporal things of this world (including those we love). Follow the link below to read this short post about costly obedience.

Costly Obedience | The Life I Didn’t Choose

Psalm 126:5-6 has long been a verse dear to my heart. It was a promise I could cling to after Cole’s death. I inscribed it across the bottom of every birth announcement mailed when Bethany…

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Grief and Grace:What I Need from Friends and Family

Gracious and practical insight from Melanie DeSimone.

thelifeididntchoose

You cannot possibly know that scented soap takes me back to my son’s apartment in an instant.

You weren’t there when I cleaned it for the last time, boxed up the contents under the sink and wiped the beautiful, greasy hand prints off the shower wall.  He had worked on a friend’s car that night, jumped in to clean up and was off.

He never made it home.

So when I come out of the room red-eyed, teary and quiet, please don’t look at me like I’m a freak.

Please don’t corner me and ask, “What’s wrong?”Or worse-please, please, please don’t suggest I should be “over it by now”.

If you were reading a novel or watching a movie, you’d show more grace.

You would nod in understanding as the main character made choices that reflected the pain of his past.  You would find his behavior…

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Shelter in the Storm

“He alone is mighty, worthy, willing and waiting to be our Refuge.” – Karen Harmening

Listening to Him

“The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2 [NASB]

As I watched footage of Hurricane Irma as it swept across islands and parts of the U.S. it reminded me of our plight.  Our experience has been much like that of the impact of a hurricane, the primary exception being there was no forecast for our disaster.  I was particularly struck as I watched landscapes and buildings gradually being swept away.  People clamored to a structure thinking they had found shelter from the storm only to realize it was incapable of protecting them, and they were sent frantically searching for another.  In some cases, no doubt, people went to several places seeking shelter before they actually found refuge.  In much the same way, God has been solidifying…

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What’s a Liebster Award?

Jill McIlreavy at mustardseedblog was kind enough to nominate You Can Trust HIm for a Liebster Award. What a surprise! Thanks, Jill. As per the (alternative, Set #2) Rules, I would also like to nominate the following blogs: brandonjadams.com thelifeididntchoose.com letusruntherace.net theologicaljon.com ianspirationblog.com