Betrayal is the act of violating the trust or confidence of another. It is to be false, faithless, treacherous.
To betray is to abandon, desert, deceive; to lead astray; to deliver to an enemy by treachery; to fail or desert especially in time of need; .
Often the bereaved feel God is guilty of these things because they expect things of Him that He never, in fact, promised. They feel His plan should line up with their plan. They feel that because they love, follow and serve Him, they should have gotten a better deal and they become angry when He does not deliver according to their expectations.
We had hopes and expectations for Hans. We are disappointed we will not get to see Hans live out his life here among us. But we are not disappointed in God. The Lord’s plan for Hans is not the plan we imagined. But, because God is God, we have full confidence that His plan is the correct plan. God’s plan is good and perfect because God is good and perfect. We hurt because we miss Hans. But at no time have we added to our pain by doubting God’s goodness or wisdom. For this mercy, we are inexpressibly thankful.
It is no secret that there is an abundance of suffering in the world. I live with the pain of child loss and, as many of you know, it is no small trial. But when I read the news or hear horrendous stories of what is going on in other countries and even right here in the lives of my own countrymen and neighbors, I am brought face to face with the fact that multitudes of people have it way worse than I have.
“But couldn’t the Lord have accomplished His purpose in some other way? Well, yes, I suppose so. But why should He? Why should dreadful losses like this happen only to other people, other Christians? Why should we read poignant and uplifting stories about other people’s losses and how they were used for the glory of God? Why should we be encouraged at other people’s expense all the time? Why shouldn’t we suffer as others have, as God’s people always have?” -From ‘Called’
I do not know all the whys and hows of God’s plan in this suffering world. But I do know God and that is the key. I know I can rely on His goodness, love and wisdom to make this all come out right. He has not promised anyone a pain-free life. He HAS promised never to leave us or forsake us.
Suffering ones, He has not abandoned you. He will not fail you. He is working even now to bring all things to their final consummation. He is working His plan, and it’s a good one.
It’s going to be alright.
May I make a suggestion that may help you? Get your Bible and start reading. Ask Him to show Himself to you. He claims to be trustworthy; ask Him to show you that. If you are questioning His wisdom, ask Him to show you His wisdom. If you wonder if He truly is good, ask Him to show you His goodness.
And pray. Confess to Him your anger and disappointment in Him. Acknowledge to Him that He is God and you are not. Ask Him to give you the trust and faith in Him you need to be at peace with Him. This is one prayer, if asked with proper motive and attitude, He delights to say “yes” to.
Grieving mother, sorrowing father, God heard you begging for your child’s life. Yes, He could have healed your baby. In love and wisdom, the answer He gave was “no.” If God is good, and He is, then this was the best answer He could have given.
Oh, how this hurts our heart! But beyond this terrible pain there is Jesus. He is there hurting with you, sorrowing because His child is in deep, doubting heaviness. Go to Him when the pain is so bad you don’t think you can take another breath. Go to Him and find rest for your battered heart. He can bring relief in an instant. And then, when the pain crashes over you again, return to the One who can help you bear it. Again, and again go to Him. There is no other Comforter. None.
Come unto me,
all ye that labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
If we know God well, if we are taught accurately from the Scriptures and believe what He says about Himself, angry feelings melt away and trust takes its rightful place.
I miss my boy, too. The pain is still there. This is not about becoming pain-free. This is about knowing God and receiving the peace only He can give.
“And I will pray the Father,
and he shall give you another Comforter,
that he may abide with you for ever;
Even the Spirit of truth;
whom the world cannot receive,
because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him:
but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you,
and shall be in you.
I will not leave you comfortless:
I will come to you.
Peace I leave with you,
my peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth, give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be afraid.”
John 14:16-18, 27