Let it Come

When you are sitting there alone and you are weeping, and the longing for your child is a thick and expanding heaviness in your chest threatening to erupt from your throat in silent, choking grief.

When the missing him becomes a mountain of sadness that is looming over you and you whisper your child’s name in astonishment and it just hurts, hurts like nothing you have ever known before and you cannot get away from it…

Do not despair.

Sit and let it come. Be still and let it crash through your soul. Let it topple every idol in your heart as it passes through.

For this is the work of God. This pain is Him working in you, purifying you, conforming you to the image of His Son. He is drilling, hammering, grinding, cutting away all that comes between you and Him.

Of course it hurts

Do not run from it.

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Psalm 51

To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David,
when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness:
according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight:
that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation:
and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

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Comfort in the Depths – Streams in the Desert

.Psalm 51

11 thoughts on “Let it Come

  1. Kim,
    Thank you for this heart wrenching and truthful post. I have been having some harder times lately, missing my son Sloan so much, 17 months for our family. Your words have helped me to confirm that I just need to let go and go through these times and not try to subdue it…the “mountain of sadness”, the exhaustion of grief, the never able to escape it, etc etc. You put into words perfectly the thoughts and feelings so many of us traveling this road of child loss have. I thank you for sharing your gift of being able to do this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Teresa, I am sorry this hard road is even harder for you right now. That second year can be pretty tough. How blessed we are that this awful pain is not wasted. It’s not for nothing and when we finally see the other side of it, I just know we will laugh with joy and delight. Until then, we will hurt, but not without hope. ❤

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  2. Within this post is truth that one can almost taste, because it goes that deep. And I believe, like David did, it is only understood at this level by those who have experienced the insight initially so that the lose can be weighed in balance. I’m not sure if I said that correctly but I sense Kim that you will know what I mean. This is a beautiful post Kim, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. God knew I needed this today. I’ve shed more tears than I have in months. So much grief, but yet hope…. because I know where my son is now and I will see him in heaven again one day. Thank you for these words.

    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

    Liked by 3 people

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