Is My Child in Heaven?

When just a small boy, God saved Hans from the penalty and power of sin, assuring him a place in Heaven based on faith in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. So, when we say we will see Hans again, our level of assurance is quite high. But what about the parent who does not have…… Continue reading Is My Child in Heaven?

Just For Me

Bouncing around at the base of the hill, across the river that lay frozen between the fireworks techs and us spectators on the dock, was a light. A flashlight. A very bright flashlight. I saw the stream of light widen and play upon the hillside. Then the beam narrowed into a tightly focused square-shaped beam.…… Continue reading Just For Me

The Fear of Forgetting

Yes, it’s normal. We are terrified of forgetting them. Afraid that if we let go of that horrible moment when our child died, that it will be like they didn’t exist at all. The pain is tremendous, but early in our grief we can’t seem to help wanting to stay right there in the past…… Continue reading The Fear of Forgetting

The First Week

Here is another short excerpt from my book Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief It is the most trying week of my life—physically exhausting, emotionally grueling. I am thankful for everyone who comes to pay their respects and make sure we eat well. I am thankful for every single gift that is sent to us…… Continue reading The First Week

The Safest Place for Him to Be

Here is another short excerpt from my book Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief I start preparing for a trip to the hospital. I put our healthcare ministry card in my purse and also an extra set of keys to Hans’s car in case he has left for the hospital already and has his keys…… Continue reading The Safest Place for Him to Be

Life’s Last Quarter Mile

Hans drives to the highway, presumably listening to the engine. He travels the last quarter mile of life’s road, planned for him by God before the foundation of the world. He drives his car down the dirt driveway where he learned to walk and to run and to ride a bike. I often wonder what…… Continue reading Life’s Last Quarter Mile

The Place of Departure

Over the course of that day, the day of the crash, Hans drives at least four times over the spot from which he will leave us for Heaven. It was to that very spot, at the end of our driveway, that Hans would cajole me into taking him as a little boy so he could…… Continue reading The Place of Departure

Young Man Alone

Late Saturday afternoon, the boys built a fire on the creek ice out behind our house to burn up branches from the trees they felled that day. As I washed the dishes, I watched them from my kitchen window. I saw Hans sitting alone at the edge of the darkness on a small pile of…… Continue reading Young Man Alone

My Book is Finished

My book, Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief, is now available for purchase. Buy Now I began writing in early 2016 just after Hans left us for Heaven and started publishing this blog in September of that year. Just about five years later (almost to the day) my book is now ready to share in…… Continue reading My Book is Finished

The Story of a Mother

A fairytale by Hans Christian Andersen “Young woman embracing a thorn bush”Kay Rasmus Nielsen (March 12, 1886 – June 21, 1957)Denmark A mother sat by her little child; she was very sad, for she feared it would die. It was quite pale, and its little eyes were closed, and sometimes it drew a heavy deep…… Continue reading The Story of a Mother

From a Secret Place

I am very pleased and thankful that a revised version of my blog post “Four” (originally published October 3, 2016) has been included in the June 2021 “Gardens” issue of ArtAscent Art & Literature Journal. It is our first summer without him, an astonishingly beautiful day, and a Sunday, which makes it worse. I step…… Continue reading From a Secret Place

Grief: Keeping Our Emotions in Check

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22,23 A beautiful Autumn day, a cup of tea with my husband, a visit from our daughter, Sunday worship, evenings with our remaining boys still at home – all these give rise…… Continue reading Grief: Keeping Our Emotions in Check

Child Loss: Why We Are Uncomfortable

When someone is widowed in old age or loses an elderly parent, perhaps after a long decline in health, we can easily understand that there is tremendous grief and sadness felt by loved ones left behind. We can identify with what they are going through, to a certain extent, because the loss follows the usual…… Continue reading Child Loss: Why We Are Uncomfortable

Trusting God With Our Departed Child’s Eternity

What if Jesus Christ is God, as He claimed, and you have no substantial reason to believe your child knew anything about Him or the Way of salvation? What if your child died while involved in sin? What if she emphatically rejected Jesus as her Savior? What if you fear your departed child is now…… Continue reading Trusting God With Our Departed Child’s Eternity