When someone is widowed in old age or loses an elderly parent, perhaps after a long decline in health, we can easily understand that there is tremendous grief and sadness felt by loved ones left behind. We can identify with what they are going through, to a certain extent, because the loss follows the usual … Continue reading Child Loss: Why We Are Uncomfortable
What if Jesus Christ is God, as He claimed, and you have no substantial reason to believe your child knew anything about Him or the Way of salvation? What if your child died while involved in sin? What if she emphatically rejected Jesus as her Savior? What if you fear your departed child is now … Continue reading Trusting God With Our Departed Child’s Eternity
I have begun putting together a resource page consisting mostly of books I have found to be helpful in my own loss experience. Here's the link to the new page: youcantrusthim.com/resources
The days and weeks leading up to The Day that forever marks the death of our child can be difficult. For some, the anticipation is far worse than the actual day, with the first anniversary usually being the hardest, but not always. Many parents fear the one year anniversary day will be as horrendous as … Continue reading Dreading the Anniversaries
I know of a man and his wife, a little older than us, that had a son who died some time ago in a car crash. Same age as our Hans, same abrupt end. I don't know these folks personally; they are acquaintances of my husband. I have only seen them from a distance. I … Continue reading Is Anyone Remembering Him Today?
Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. Psalm 119:67 BLESSINGS OF BEREAVEMENT by J. R. Miller, 1896 At first we would be disposed to say that no blessings can come out of bereavements. But the grace of God has such wondrous power, that even from the saddest desolating of … Continue reading Blessings of Bereavement
"Live on promises, not on explanations. Even if God explained why your child died, the answer wouldn't end the heartbreak or quench the questions. Instead of explanations, God gives promises, which keep you moving ahead, giving hope and new strength. "You'll get through your grief. It won't end today or next month. But there is … Continue reading You’re Going to Make It
Initially, the pain of child loss is so severe, that it is easy to wonder if it is survivable. Many women say they know, if it happened to them, they could not survive it. But, I want to tell them: Yes, you can. If I can, you can. We have no choice in the matter. … Continue reading Surviving Child Loss: Now What?
I still get those moments where I just can't comprehend that Hans is gone from us. But the difference now is the intensity. Those first weeks and months, and into the second year, it would just immobilize me - the pain saturated me through and through - I didn't know such pain existed. Back then, … Continue reading Healing After Child Loss
As one who is allergic to bee venom, I have a real appreciation for this word “sting.” The sting of a hornet (yellow-jacket) has the potential to kill me and the only safe bee, for me, is a dead one, or one whose stinger has been removed. So when this corruptible shall have put … Continue reading The Sting of Death
On Mother's Day Evening 2013, Jonathan Campbell Hamilton, son of Ron and Shelly Hamilton, was taken to Heaven at the age of thirty-four after a long struggle with mental illness. I have heard Mr. Hamilton sing Rejoice in the Lord countless times over many years but never knew until recently about the loss of his … Continue reading Rejoice in the Lord
Sorrow is better than laughter; for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. Ecclesiastes 7:3 When you are sitting there alone and you are weeping, and the longing for your child is a thick and expanding heaviness in your chest threatening to erupt from your throat in silent, choking grief. When … Continue reading Let it Come
I was deep into a collection of short stories written by Anton Chekhov when I turned the page and was confronted with a story entitled Grief. I briefly considered skipping it, but I am so glad I didn't. Mr. Chekhov understands a bereaved parent's compelling need to talk about their loss. Every public domain site I … Continue reading Anton Chekhov | Grief
Contrary to various cultural notions, there is no set time-frame for grieving. None of us "gets over it" in the one year (or less) of mourning that is often allotted to us. Each family, and every member within it, operates within a unique set of circumstances that will influence both the weight and duration of … Continue reading As Time Goes By
It is raining As if nothing has happened It is raining And the trees stand there As they have for centuries Watching me and remembering Sympathetic But unhelpful They've seen this sort of thing before A mother Weeping There are little leaves on the rose bushes Who will graduate into adult leaves That will never … Continue reading It is Raining