What is Faith?

I am not a theologian. I am just an average mom with a very bruised heart. Since the crash, my memory is shot, I find it difficult to make conversation, and my word-finding ability has declined considerably. Therefore, I will not get technical here. But I will give you what I know and understand faith to be.

So here we go.

What faith is not

Faith is not confidence in one’s self, one’s merit, ability, religion or support group. Faith placed in anything other than the person and work of The Lord Jesus Christ will not suffice. I could fool myself into a state of “peace and safety” by inventing nice, comforting theories and adopting them as my personal dogma, but that would be self-deceptive idolatry, an ineffectual fabrication, and an abomination to God. Faith is not something I muster up as needed. It is not an attitude or a way of thinking, though faith will certainly affect my attitude and thinking.

Faith is not wishful thinking or a vague sense that everything will work out for the best because “I have faith.” Faith in what? In myself? In my power to determine my destiny? Faith in my friends, my husband, my children, my pastor, priest, rabbi, education, will, strength, credentials, credit cards, political connections, the harmony of the universe? None of these will get me far.

Let me tell you something. When you stand next to a hole in the ground into which they are about to lower your son, NONE of those things will do the job. When they are throwing shovels-full of dirt on your heart, when clods of frozen earth splatter onto the box that contains your son, you need the real deal. You need something powerful, more powerful than the blinding pain sucking the marrow from your bones. More powerful than breathless lungs and a motionless heart. More powerful than cold, irreversible, unmerciful, soul-hammering, lifelessness. You need faith—real, trusting, unshakeable Faith. You need substance, evidence, hope. You need something, Someone, to keep you breathing. You need God. Nothing and no one else are big enough.

What faith is

Faith is believing what God has said. Faith must have as its object something bigger than self. Bigger than anyone or anything. Faith must be in something bigger than death. There is no point in having a lot of faith in something little.

There is no point in having a lot of faith in something little.

Apparently, there are some who believe they can do Death of a Child without God, without faith, and keep functioning. I am not one of them. I would not want to, even if I could. I would not, could not bear purposeless, on top of hopeless, on top of Godless, on top of My Son Is Dead. No. Way. I could never, ever scratch together enough faith to live without Faith. And neither, if you are honest, can you.