"...Because they are just butterflies, they do not know they have come into the house to die." Click here to read the entire post.
Joined in God – Streams in the Desert 08/19 http://womenofchristianity.com/joined-in-god-streams-in-the-desert-0819/ “As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Cor. 6:10). "When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of the nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who has ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender … Continue reading Joy and Sorrow United
Why does the sound of the wind break my heart? It carries away the long ago laughter Of yesterday's children And flings it beyond my reach It runs without a care Along trails blazed by my mighty hunter Brushing over the fields of your boyhood As if your absence doesn't matter Yesterday's gentle breeze returns … Continue reading The Wind Bloweth
Original post published October 10, 2016 It is over seven months now since Hans left us for Heaven, yet I still get these illogical, unrealistic, untrue thoughts/longings/compulsions to find him. For instance: It’s such a beautiful breezy day; it’s hot and the birds are singing. I stand in the yard looking around and I think: … Continue reading Revised Post: Compelled
"This heavy sorrow is what I feel. It is not a reflection of what I, as a Christian, believe. I know where our son is and I believe what God has told me about our eternal home. Why then do I sorrow? It is because each crashing wave of grief is my flesh crying out … Continue reading Revised Post: The Facts
Click here to read the entire post. "It’s not just Hans I miss. It is all of them together as happy children on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes I so want to turn back the clock to one of those precious days. Or to turn it forward to when we will all be together again. But … Continue reading Revised Post: Four
NOTE: I want to thank Melanie De Simone thelifeididntchoose.com for her helpful post: Grief Brain: It’s a Real Thing! I was sitting in the pew waiting for Wednesday evening prayer meeting to start. My middle son, Josef, and I had gotten there early to set up for the video we would be watching. Since the … Continue reading Grief Brain? Me?
Joined in God – Streams in the Desert 08/19 http://womenofchristianity.com/joined-in-god-streams-in-the-desert-0819/ “As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Cor. 6:10). Sorrow was beautiful, but her beauty was the beauty of the moonlight shining through the leafy branches of the trees in the wood, and making little pools of silver here and there on the soft green moss … Continue reading Joy and Sorrow United
One of the things bereaved parents would like you to know is this: Even though they may seem pretty together and functional; even though they smile, though perhaps not very brightly and not for very long; and even though it seems like they are moving on with life, there are many, many things going on … Continue reading Things Are Not What They Seem
It would easy to spend all my time preoccupied with the past. The way it was. Looking at – no examining - old photographs. Studying, not just the image of our son, but the background, too. Everyday scenery that has not changed but is so totally different now. Trying to find the what-ifs casually arranged … Continue reading Looking Forward
Walking through Sear's department store, I passed the boys' and then the men's department and calmly experienced all the expected memories: the packages of socks, the work pants, the plaid shirts, the dress shirts. I continued on through the tool department where we bought so many Christmas presents for the men in our family: the … Continue reading Blind-sided at Sears
"If you have ever gazed upon your child's lifeless body and tried to will it back to life with the force of your love, then you know what it is to have your heart pierced. No, not pierced... Demolished." In the 1948 movie "I Remember Mama," there is a sequence where the youngest child needs … Continue reading Mama
Fear. It is a feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. An intense uneasiness. An acute sense of dread. Like, when you turn around in a store and your toddler has disappeared momentarily into the depths of a clothes rack. Or, when Josef came into the house that October day to tell me … Continue reading Terror
Of the many beautiful flowers that were given for Hans’ memorial service, only one is still alive and thriving in our home, an orchid, with its one big showy cluster of purple flowers at the end of a long vine-like stem. After we brought it home from the service, wrapped in plastic to protect it … Continue reading The Butterfly