It’s not that sorrow wears off, or grieving gets easier. It’s just that you come to an awareness that sorrow is not getting you anywhere.
Slowly, you realize your tears will not bring your child back. The churning rawness begins to level off, not because the pain is less, but because you become too worn out to cry. Your sorrow gets quieter, burrows deeper, becomes part of you rather than something you do battle with. Whereas, once you thought your heart would explode with pain, you now feel it threatening to implode, to collapse under the stealthy grip of chronic sadness.
But, then, little by little, by very little, you gain the ability to smile occasionally while remembering. Instead of seeing empty spaces everywhere, spaces where your child should be, you begin to see God’s hand. The frantic grasping begins to subside as you look up in wonder, knowing your child is up there.
You learn the Lord has provided a better connection to your departed child than sorrow and grief, based on the facts as they are – not life as it was.
He has provided Himself.
It is true that the day on which I last saw my son is moving farther and farther away from me in time. It feels like we are leaving him behind. But to think like this all the time is to look in the wrong direction. If I turn around, I see that I am moving forward toward the day when we will be together again. The grasping for the past must be replaced by joyful anticipation of the future. The time between now and then is getting shorter every minute. Hans is in my future. For us, the earthbound ones, that is where our departed, believing children are.
Right now.
And every day that passes is another day closer to seeing them again.
You Can Trust Him 
Kim, in the wee hours of the morning you have ministered to my soul … one step closer, one moment closer to the day we will meet before the Throne – no more tears – reunited and praising our God – I am honored to call you Sister and to walk this unique journey together (although not by our specific choice) – the bond we share is precious and I am honored to know you even though it is through this media… I Love You and carry you in my heart and prayers – Always – 💝 Thank you for sharing your heart ❤️
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I can’t tell you how much you have blessed me today. I sorely needed it. Thank you, sister. ❤️❤️
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My mind knows this, but with the holes from the missing. It is difficult to move from the mind to the heart. Some other day.
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I can relate to this with respect to 2 infants we have lost, but also in another way. I sometimes feel emotional pain regarding the loss of the physically pain-free life I used to live. But… I am 1 day closer to the day that I will not only see my 2 babies and be pain-free again, but ALL of my tears will be gone (Revelation 21:4).
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Yes. When you are hurting, it can be painful to look back on The Way It Was. I am so thankful, as you are, for the sure and certain Hope we have in Jesus for the future. I am sorry for the pain you are called to patiently endure, Kim, and for the loss of your two sweet babies. “For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.” Romans 8:22-25
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