Walking Away from Anger. Walking Toward Peace

"Anger is destructive. It is a nasty weapon in the Destroyer’s arsenal. How is it working for you? Does it not make you unbelievably tired? Wouldn’t you like to lay it down and walk away? Wouldn’t you like to replace it with something more productive? Wouldn’t you like to rest?" -From Chapter 40, Angry at …

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Up From the Ashes

It would easy to spend all my time preoccupied with the past. The way it was. Looking at – no examining - old photographs.  Studying, not just the image of our son, but the background, too.  Everyday scenery that has not changed but is so totally different now.  Trying to find the what-ifs casually arranged …

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J.R. Miller Sorrow makes deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on the heart which suffers. We really never get over our great griefs; we are never altogether the same after we have passed through them as we were before.

No surrender

An excerpt from Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief ... So, I must wait, but waiting does not have to mean stagnating. The Lord still has business to conduct in His universe. There are people yet to be born and souls yet to be saved. The time I have left is shorter than it feels; …

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The Nearness of God

Grieving is difficult, exhausting work that can become counterproductive if indulged in overmuch. There comes a time when sorrow and anguish are not enough anymore. Not that it wears off, or grieving gets easier. It is just that I have come to an awareness that sorrow is not getting me anywhere. I see that my …

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Re-Post: Trust God?! Why Should I?

In the wake of child loss, it seems many parents, even believing parents, find their trust in God has been severely shaken.  They may become angry at God.  Or, they hold themselves at a distance from Him.  They are reserved in their relationship with Him.  They may stop praying or attending church.  They open the …

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Re-Post: Empty Stalls, Empty Beds

"I do not know what the Lord has planned for us.  I rest in the fact that He is God and He knows what He is doing.  I began this journey without knowing all the twists and turns it may involve.  But my Captain knows all.  I do not need to fret or peer over …

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Revised Post: Angry At God

Anger is destructive.  It is a nasty weapon in the arsenal of the Destroyer.  How’s it working for you?  Does it not make you unbelievably tired?  Wouldn’t you like to lay it down and walk away?  Wouldn’t you like to replace it with something more productive, something more God-honoring?  Wouldn’t you like to rest? Read …

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Re-Post: Thoughts on Psalm 84

I quietly went to our bedroom, closing the door behind me.  And by the bedside, I prayed and calmly lay my son on the altar.  I did not like doing it.  I cannot say my heart was in it...  Click here to read the whole thing.   Save

New Friends

Originally published October 15, 2016 In these past nine months since Hans drove to the highway, I have dreamed of him only once.  I had this dream shortly after he left us and it was very brief. In my dream, Sunday worship had just concluded and Hans was standing with a group of men outside …

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Revised Post: The Facts

"This heavy sorrow is what I feel.  It is not a reflection of what I, as a Christian, believe.  I know where our son is and  I believe what God has told me about our eternal home.  Why then do I sorrow? It is because each crashing wave of grief is my flesh crying out …

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Trust God?! Why Should I?

You are hanging from a rope over a yawning chasm.  Your climbing partner has just plunged into the abyss right before your eyes and has met with a terrifying, horrible death.  And there you are, alone and afraid, twisting in the wind at the end of your rope, stunned at the loss of your friend.  …

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Empty Stalls, Empty Beds

Most of the animals we keep were acquired when our children were young. Our oldest animal, a goat (The Old Lady), died at the ripe old age of eleven just a few months after Hans left us.  She was one of our original breeding stock and was a sensible and reliable animal.  But one day …

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