Initially, the pain of child loss is so severe, that it is easy to wonder if it is survivable. Many women say they know, if it happened to them, they could not survive it.
But, I want to tell them: Yes, you can.
If I can, you can.
We have no choice in the matter.
There is no option.
We just have to.
But here is something to think about:
Surviving is a good thing. But just surviving is not the ideal and does not mean we are growing.
Surviving is not enough. Just because I have survived, does not mean I have grown.
Yes, I am still standing. Now what?
What does God want me to do with this?
“Sorrow makes deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on the heart which suffers. We really never get over our great griefs; we are never altogether the same after we have passed through them as we were before. Yet there is a humanizing and fertilizing influence in sorrow which has been rightly accepted and cheerfully borne. Indeed, they are poor who have never suffered, and have none of sorrow’s marks upon them. The joy set before us should shine upon our grief as the sun shines through the clouds, glorifying them. God has so ordered, that in pressing on in duty we shall find the truest, richest comfort for ourselves. Sitting down to brood over our sorrows, the darkness deepens about us and creeps into our heart, and our strength changes to weakness. But, if we turn away from the gloom, and take up the tasks and duties to which God calls us, the light will come again, and we shall grow stronger.” –J. R. Miller
“We often spend a long time in the spiritual valleys designed by our Father. Why does He lead through the shadows in theses valleys? It seems He has designed them to conform us into His image and purpose. The duration of our days in these valleys is often determined by the time it takes for us to learn how to yield joyfully. Some of our valleys take us longer to pass through than even our Father intends. Still, He will keep us in His valleys until we begin to experience contentment with the direction and even the degree of difficulty. His will is for us to come to all endurance and all longsuffering – with joy! Those who have traversed many valleys will tell you the secret to joyful longsuffering. It’s the same secret David discovered: ‘for Thou art with me.'”
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
2 thoughts on “Surviving Child Loss: Now What?”
Kim, I have not experienced the same loss as you have, but the valleys are the same. They are dark, lonely and seemingly hopeless to get through. Nevertheless, we do because He is with us. You say this so beautifully, and I am blessed by His work in you. Thankfully, it is always His presence and His power not ours.
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Yes, there are many different valleys, and pain is pain no matter what the loss or situation. But, He is always near, praise His blessed name. ❤️
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