Originally published September 28, 2016 This summer, our first without Hans, has been like no other. In addition to Hans being gone, the rest of the family have been away from home for much of the summer work season. And it is very quiet. One of the first things that struck me after Hans went … Continue reading Revised Post: Racket
"What if all this stuff about Heaven and Hell is true? What if I have no reason to believe my child knew anything about Jesus. What if I failed to tell my child the most important thing in all the world? What if my child is now eternally lost? How can I ever live with … Continue reading Revised Post: Not Sure
Originally published October 15, 2016 In these past nine months since Hans drove to the highway, I have dreamed of him only once. I had this dream shortly after he left us and it was very brief. In my dream, Sunday worship had just concluded and Hans was standing with a group of men outside … Continue reading New Friends
Original post published October 10, 2016 It is over seven months now since Hans left us for Heaven, yet I still get these illogical, unrealistic, untrue thoughts/longings/compulsions to find him. For instance: It’s such a beautiful breezy day; it’s hot and the birds are singing. I stand in the yard looking around and I think: … Continue reading Revised Post: Compelled
Hans was a flashlight fanatic. This, of course, led to a rechargeable battery habit. He did not want to get caught on a highway emergency call without a good light. Car repairs and other work at home often had to be done in the dark as well. So, not unexpectedly, this past Christmas Hans gave … Continue reading Light Show
Originally published September 30, 2016 "The grass seed sprouted into a neat and tidy patch of lawn; the rose bush limped along through the rest of summer, fall, and then winter. Then January. And a car crash. And our Hans was gone." Read the entire post here.
I cannot say enough good things about this book. I read it over and over in the early months after Hans left us and was greatly encouraged. Mrs. Fleece is a wise and gentle woman whose writing style is both comforting and instructional. Not By Accident: What I Learned from My Son's Untimely Death tells … Continue reading Book Review: ‘Not By Accident’ by Isabel Fleece
Wildfire season is upon us here in Alaska bringing with it many smoky memories. Read the entire post here.
Love photographs them in the heart! (William Thoseby, "Foot-prints on the Sands of Time" 1869) It is true there are strong consolations and compensations in Divine providence, but even the Christian consolations cannot drink up all the heart's sorrow in the hour of separating death. We cry with truth, but yet in tears, "O death, … Continue reading Love Photographs Them in the Heart!
"This heavy sorrow is what I feel. It is not a reflection of what I, as a Christian, believe. I know where our son is and I believe what God has told me about our eternal home. Why then do I sorrow? It is because each crashing wave of grief is my flesh crying out … Continue reading Revised Post: The Facts
Click here to read the entire post. "It’s not just Hans I miss. It is all of them together as happy children on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes I so want to turn back the clock to one of those precious days. Or to turn it forward to when we will all be together again. But … Continue reading Revised Post: Four
"I do not believe in accidents. If I thought the crash was “just an accident”, a freak chance event, I might just lose myself in despair, in the pointlessness of it. It would take an impossible amount of faith for me to believe the crash was an accident. The precision of the timing and logistics … Continue reading Revised Post: Called
Right now here in Alaska, with our 24 hours of daylight, the songbirds sing all night long. For the past several weeks, a white crowned sparrow, who is apparently nesting near our bedroom window, has been keeping me awake at night. This morning, however, I awoke with a start. Something was wrong. It took me … Continue reading Songs in the Night
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One of the things bereaved parents would like you to know is this: Even though they may seem pretty together and functional; even though they smile, though perhaps not very brightly and not for very long; and even though it seems like they are moving on with life, there are many, many things going on … Continue reading Things Are Not What They Seem