Forward

Here is another short excerpt from my book Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief

Forward. That is the direction I need to be moving. Forward is where our son is. Forward is where I will see my Savior, face to face. Moving forward is not the same as moving on. Moving on is putting the past behind you and trying to forget. Moving on is something I will never do.

This book is part of my strategy for moving forward. If I can document the sweetness of the past as well as the pain of the present, perhaps it will become easier to move forward. If I can get it all on paper, then maybe it will not be forgotten. Hans will not be forgotten.

But of course, it is not possible to get it all on paper. Even a “short” life has millions of moments. And there is much I do not wish to share, private blessings that I want to keep all to myself, treasures that are more precious because no one else saw them. Forgive me if I keep these few jewels for myself. Anyway, how do you get a special look or a smell or a voice, or the sound of laughter onto paper? And even if it were possible, most of it would not mean much to anyone else.

As I began writing, it was mostly for my benefit. It kept me from sitting and thinking too much. It helped keep me from the edge of the chasm. Writing helped to make constructive use of my pain, allowing me to deal with it and be distracted from it at the same time.

But, as the razor-wire anguish eased somewhat, it occurred to me that maybe I should share this experience. During the first weeks and months after Hans went home to be with the Lord, I read every book written by a grieving parent I could get my hands on. I needed to hear from someone who had been through child loss, and I am extremely thankful to the authors and bloggers who put their own pain into words for the rest of us. I pray this book might help someone, too.

Never Ceasing book cover

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