Things Are Not What They Seem

One of the things bereaved parents would like you to know is this:  Even though they may seem pretty together and functional; even though they smile, though perhaps not very brightly and not for very long; and even though it seems like they are moving on with life, there are many, many things going on …

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One Year

Can it be a whole year since we saw our boy's face? If you have a special memory of Hans (no matter how long ago), a funny story, or a photo you would like to share, please leave it in the comments section below, or visit Hans' memorial website here. Every memory posted is a …

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Home

Hans spent most of his life right here at home in the house he grew up in.  Of course he went places and did things.  He spent his first birthday in California while we were down there visiting family.  But other than that he never left the state of Alaska.  He never “got his own …

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Better Than a High Five

Hans always made a point of thanking me whenever I helped him out.    I believe he thanked me after almost every meal I cooked for him.  Every pizza was "the best pizza ever." Often, after asking me to assist him in some way, he would say, “I hope this doesn’t cause you more work”.  And …

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Well Said

Though written by me in the voice of our son Josef, who has Down syndrome, the following piece was intended as a thank-you from myself to Hans for all his help in caring for his younger brother. Each member of our family contributes to meeting Josef’s needs and I wanted to thank Hans, in writing, …

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New Friends

Originally published October 15, 2016 In these past nine months since Hans drove to the highway, I have dreamed of him only once.  I had this dream shortly after he left us and it was very brief. In my dream, Sunday worship had just concluded and Hans was standing with a group of men outside …

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Compelled

It is over seven months now since Hans left us for Heaven, yet I still get these illogical, unrealistic, untrue thoughts/longings/compulsions to find him.  For instance: It’s such a beautiful breezy day; it’s hot and the birds are singing… He must be out in the fields or walking along the railroad tracks.  If I start …

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Light Show

Hans was a flashlight fanatic.  This, of course, led to a rechargeable battery habit.  He did not want to get caught on a highway emergency call without a good light.  Car repairs and other work at home often had to be done in the dark as well. So, not unexpectedly, this past Christmas Hans gave …

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Tenacious

Several years ago, high winds snapped a large spruce tree about half way up its trunk, sending the upper part of the tree crashing down onto the roof of our house as we slept. Damage was minimal, the roof was repaired, and the tree was cut up and hauled away for firewood. But the stump, …

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Old Yeller Truck

The other day I went to the yellow pickup to see if Hans left anything in there.  Sure enough, there was his Forestry Department issued clothing from when he worked last summer helping out for few days on the wildfire south of Nenana.  It was all folded up neat as a pin and piled on …

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Racket

This summer, our first without Hans, has been like no other.  In addition to Hans being gone, the rest of the family have been away from home for much of the summer work season. And it is very quiet. One of the first things that struck me after Hans went to be with Jesus, was …

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