The Unshakable

I don’t often re-blog, but I am often encouraged by Hannah’s posts. If you want to see courage and perseverance in real time, I encourage you to follow her on her journey. And check out her Etsy shop, Nannys Landing, where you can find cute gifts and other items like key fobs and head scarfs. Thank you, Hannah for showing us what choosing hope looks like.

Choosing Hope

Today it has been 11 years since we snuggled our little girl close and held her tiny hands as she took her last breath on this earth. Sometimes I am still so angry that I could not make her better. That’s what mamas are supposed to do; make things better. I had one big important job, and I could not do it.

Then I remember that WASN’T my job. I /wanted/ it to be my job; the job of being a mama that could fix things. Instead I was given the job of opening my hands wide of my own control. I was given the job of looking into the teary faces of three sweet, grieving siblings and teaching them to trust that God is still good, even in our hurting. I was given the job of white-knuckling a marriage that the statistics were stacked against because of the big…

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A Short Walk on a Long Road

She was headed north, alone, on the gravelly edge of a two-lane highway. Her feet were beginning to hurt but they kept their usual steady pace. For over an hour, no car passed from either direction and no houses appeared. In fact, the nearest town, such as it was, lay ten miles back, just beyond …

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Up From the Ashes

It would easy to spend all my time preoccupied with the past. The way it was. Looking at – no examining - old photographs.  Studying, not just the image of our son, but the background, too.  Everyday scenery that has not changed but is so totally different now.  Trying to find the what-ifs casually arranged …

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grief-is-suspicious-of-gladness-and-is-slow-to-be-persuaded-that-he-who-comes-to-the-house-of-mourning-from-the-dwelling-of-cheerfulness-can-bring-with-him-a-just-appreciation-of-the-cal

The Ministry of Listening

Sometimes the best help we can give is a sensitive heart and a listening ear. Let's remember to listen. Anton Chekhov understood a newly bereaved parent's compelling need to talk about their loss. Here are excerpts form his short story, Misery. "With a look of anxiety and suffering Iona's eyes stray restlessly among the crowds …

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J.R. Miller Sorrow makes deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on the heart which suffers. We really never get over our great griefs; we are never altogether the same after we have passed through them as we were before.

No surrender

An excerpt from Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief ... So, I must wait, but waiting does not have to mean stagnating. The Lord still has business to conduct in His universe. There are people yet to be born and souls yet to be saved. The time I have left is shorter than it feels; …

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fireworks Just For Me

Just For Me

Bouncing around at the base of the hill, across the river that lay frozen between the fireworks techs and us spectators on the dock, was a light. A flashlight. A very bright flashlight. I saw the stream of light widen and play upon the hillside. Then the beam narrowed into a tightly focused square-shaped beam. …

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The Nearness of God

Grieving is difficult, exhausting work that can become counterproductive if indulged in overmuch. There comes a time when sorrow and anguish are not enough anymore. Not that it wears off, or grieving gets easier. It is just that I have come to an awareness that sorrow is not getting me anywhere. I see that my …

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The Fear of Forgetting

Yes, it's normal. We are terrified of forgetting them. Afraid that if we let go of that horrible moment when our child died, that it will be like they didn't exist at all. The pain is tremendous, but early in our grief we can't seem to help wanting to stay right there in the past …

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The Most Important Thing

While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; …

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The First Week

Here is another short excerpt from my book Never Ceasing: God’s Faithfulness in Grief It is the most trying week of my life—physically exhausting, emotionally grueling. I am thankful for everyone who comes to pay their respects and make sure we eat well. I am thankful for every single gift that is sent to us …

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Never Ceasing book cover

My Book is Finished

My book, Never Ceasing: God's Faithfulness in Grief, is now available for purchase. Buy Now I began writing in early 2016 just after Hans left us for Heaven and started publishing this blog in September of that year. Just about five years later (almost to the day) my book is now ready to share in …

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The Story of a Mother

A fairytale by Hans Christian Andersen "Young woman embracing a thorn bush"Kay Rasmus Nielsen (March 12, 1886 – June 21, 1957)Denmark A mother sat by her little child; she was very sad, for she feared it would die. It was quite pale, and its little eyes were closed, and sometimes it drew a heavy deep …

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Walk, Don’t Run.

Sorrow is better than laughter; for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. Ecclesiastes 7:3 When you are sitting there alone and you are weeping, and the longing for your child is a thick and expanding heaviness in your chest threatening to erupt from your throat in silent, choking grief. When …

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Blessings of Bereavement

Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. Psalm 119:67 BLESSINGS OF BEREAVEMENT by J. R. Miller, 1896 At first we would be disposed to say that no blessings can come out of bereavements. But the grace of God has such wondrous power, that even from the saddest desolating of …

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